Here Kitty Kitty

Infomercials are usually pretty stupid, but I think the one I saw the other day might take the cake. The product in question is the luxurious Cozy Kitty, which can be had for the bargain price of $14.99!!! The Cozy Kitty is a combination of your typical air travel pillow and your cat. Don't you just wish you could take your cat and wrap it around your shoulders and use it as a headrest??? Well now you can!!! What's more, if you don't want to take the risk of putting your cat in the microwave or freezer, the Cozy Kitty will be a willing test subject!

I like the quote on the top of the page: "What will they think of next!". Seriously.

Warm Stone Ice Cream

So for some unknown reason, I keep gravitating towards Cold Stone ice cream. I mean, it's expensive, it's a disgusting amount of ice cream, and really, it's not THAT good. And yet, a brownie or snickers in your ICE CREAM!!! How can I resist??? However, here are some of my issues with Cold Stone:

• Cool the stone: So I know Cold Stone's thing is their allegedly cold stone. However, everytime I order some ice cream, it is half melting by the time I get it. Methinks the stone just has some frost painted on it and is not much cooler than room temperature. It would also help if they just kept the cooler shut. Whowouldhavethunkit?
• Stop Freeing Willy: The portions are simply out of control. My girlfriend and I shared a small (aka: Like it) and we could not even finish it. Granted, neither one of us are slobs, but for the love of trimmer wastelines, I'm not sure I could finish a small if it was the first thing I had to eat after a Yom Kippur fast. I'm actually quite suprised that people aren't literally exploding next to the store after I see them walk out with these "Love it" sizes topped with fudge.
• Quit the name association: Why is a small "Like it" while a large is "Love it"? Can't you love the ice cream but only want a small? (like if you are a sane person who doesn't want to gain 8.2 lbs in one sitting)
• Stop singing: Everytime you give a tip, the workers start singing (more like yelling) in not-so-great-unison. Now, I don't give them a tip because they sing. It's like negative conditioning. I know my money will elicit the call of the wild, and really, that's not very pleasent.

On the topic of tips, why does everyone and their grandmother believe they deserve them? Here are some of the more dubious tip beggers:

• Candy store workers: I absolutely love candy by the pound stores. Nowhere else can I mix and match my favorite candies into one really, really heavy bag. When I've done all the work, I put the bag on the scale and the candy store "worker" pushes a button and takes my money. For this chore, which also includes him wrapping my bag and putting a sticker on it, he has handily setup a tip jar. Let me tell you something: If anyone deserves a tip for anything in that store, it's me for meticulously filing through the candy bins and deciding how much of which candies go into my bag. Not to mention I have to carry the bag. Jeez.
• Cab drivers: On the NY Cab Bill of Rights which you can handily find on the back of the divider in any NYC cab, you will read the following words: Tipping is customary for good service. What constitutes good service? How about getting me there TODAY, without crashing? Is that so hard? That's your freaking job. How can you be any better than that? Oooooh, you stayed silent the whole way and didn't bother me with your mindless banter. According to the Bill of Rights, that's a rule as well. (as is NO CELL PHONE USE)

I think I'm going to post a sign outside my office one day (if I ever graduate from med school) and on it will read the words: Tipping is customary for good service. After all, what better service can there be than saving someone's life? People will HAVE to tip me for that.

The Cube

So you may know that I have the special skill of being able to complete Rubik's cube (without peeling off the stickers). However, I can neither complete it in 16 seconds or BLINDFOLDED!!!

The blindfolded link may be down, though it was up a few days ago.

So Bush and Frist are different people!?!

You may not have known that Senate majority leader Bill Frist and GWB are actually two different people. After all, their moronic views on every issue give off the impression that they are nothing more than separated siamese twins still sharing the same brain. However, Frist has finally broken free! (for this one issue at least).

Seems that gearing up for his likely presidential run in 2008, Frist has probably run a lot of polls and come to the startling conclusion that most Americans including (GASP! Republicans) are actually in favor of more federal financing for stem cell research. Since Frist basically controls the Senate agenda, he has the power to scuttle bills, including this bill which had wide bipartisan support in both the Senate and the House. If Frist chose to keep it off the agenda, however, he would save GWB a very odd veto against a bill which has wide public support (except from Bush's evangelical right). Frist however, has thrown his support behind the bill now. Hopefully this will get us moving in the right direction on stem cells, after years of wasted time thanks to the Bush administration.

Fox News: We make the news

At the gym, while running my virtual marathon, I was watching Fox News which should really be renamed Fox Fantasy News. It's absolutely incredible how much crap they make up. In terms of politics, we all know the trash Fox spews out. But why lie or exaggerate the news? Just as I'm nearing mile 17, they head into a commercial break with the captivating headline: July 7th mastermind arrested in Zambia. Now, given that I had checked the news before I left for the gym, I found it odd that I had missed this juicy bit of news. So I continued running, still riveted to the screen during the absolutely awful commercials that followed (anyone want to buy a 5 dollar coin for the bargain price of $29.95!?).

When the news started up again, the anchor went into the story that the "mastermind" of the July 7th attacks had been arrested in Zambia. Not suspected or alleged. The ACTUAL "mastermind" had been caught, according to Fox. I kept listening through the rest of the segment until the terrorism "expert" they had on insisted that Iraq and Al-Qaeda were connected before the Iraqi war (without providing evidence other than saying that the 9/11 comission had concluded this very thing, which of course they didn't).

Anyway, so I went home and checked online for ANY news about Zambia and the "mastermind". I checked my trusty Google News and found all of 4 links which had the works Zambia and mastermind, meaning one of two things: Or the "mastermind" wasn't arrested in Zambia, or he wasn't the "mastermind". (We can't also discount that there is some other "mastermind" in Zambia who had nothing to do with the July 7th attacks). The stories did mention that someone was arrested in Zambia and that it was possible he had links to July 7th. Primarily, he made about 20 cell phone calls to the bombers, which may or not prove anything, though Scotland Yard didn't comment on the report that the "mastermind" was indeed in custody.

So, who cares? Why did Fox lie about the NEWS (not even political news!)? Well, the story on CNN made some sense of this. Seems this guy was going to be arrested in Zambia months ago by the US, but he was a British citizen and the Brits didn't want to give him up (or arrest him themselves). In other words, all of a sudden our security services (which I REALLY can't imagine doing the job Scotland Yard has done over in the UK) had the "mastermind" all this time and if it weren't for some squabbling, the US could have prevented the July 7th attacks (and people in Podunk, Kansas think that they have some super-elite team of investigators protecting them here at home).

Unless of course the "mastermind" did nothing other than make a few phone calls, and that's not illegal...just ask Karl Rove.

Global warming did it

So, lest my blog ends up like Adam's (R.I.P.), I've decided to let loose on global warming (sorry for the serious post).

In case you've been asleep in an igloo for the past couple of days, you've probably noticed that it's rather toasty outside. So toasty that many say they've never seen it this hot. It MUST be global warming. In fact, a CNN poll reported that 75% of people think that this current heat wave is a direct consequence of global warming. Forget that GLOBAL warming doesn't necessarily refer to Podunk, Kansas, but theoretically it refers to longer periods of time and smaller shifts in temperature.

Now, it can be certainly argued that the average temperature of the Earth has been rising over the past years, but why is is that people always tend to exaggerate whatever is currently happening? How many times have you heard (or even said it yourself):

• This is the hottest summer ever.
  
• This was the worst blizzard ever.

Let's face, we have short memory spans and every year seems to be the worst for something when in reality it's just like every other year that's come before. We also assume that every single temperature flucation these days is due to global warming, while ignoring all temperature abnormalities before we even produced the levels of greenhouse gases we produce today. One example: in Denver, a record was set for the hottest day ever. However, there were many longer stretches of days above 90 degrees back in the late 19th century (when obviously there was nowhere near as much pollution as there is today). Global warming could certainly be having an effect on our enviorment, but I think it's also important to understand that natural variability over long periods of time could also have a large influence on our current weather. This natural variability seems to be overshadowed, however, when people seem to only remember the last batch of weather.

Freakonomics update: I have skyrocketed up the list to #695 (from 725. 30 spots in 6 days for a zooming average of 5 spots a day). At the current rate, I will have the book in 59 days (after waiting a total of 81 days). The reader should be happy to note (please excuse my enthusiasm), that a good number of people (250 fellow fools) have built up the line behind me!!! There is NO worse feeling, than standing in a humongous line, only to be the absolutely last one to join it. At least now I can wait for 60 more days knowing that at least I wasn't the last person to want the book. PHEW!

Are you Equiunted with the spicy?

The Russian consulate in New York is an interesting place. Primarily in that visiting the consulate is like visiting Russia itself. I guess that makes sense since it's theoretically Russian territory, but I'd appreciate an attempt to accomodate those who might visit said consulate. For instance: signs posted in the embassy and instructions on what to do to get a visa should be posted in English--gramatically correct English while we're at it. When visiting the consulate, instructions posted on the big, not-so-inviting oak door were written in Russian only. The only thing I could make out on the sign were some times that the consulate was open, with days of the week (Thank you!). Finally, I make my way into the visa section and I see a sign out of the corner on my eye:

• To get Equiunted with visa information...

Equiunited. Pardon? Do they actually mean acquainted? I know that many immigrants don't speak English perfectly (ok, many in NY don't even speak any English at all), but can't they at least try to be a little more professional? For that matter, have you ever walked into an immigrant store or restaurant?

My favorite from a Chinese restaurant here in the city:

• We can change spicy to suite your taste.

Restaurant and other shops need to up the professionalism a little bit and get a fluent English person to write their signs and menus. It's really not that hard and if there really is no one in the whole of NY that would do it for them, I'll do it for them. Since all the hole-in-the-wall Chinese restaurants have the same exact menu, I feel I could really have a widespread influence as a Chinese menu grammar corrector. More about Chinese restaurants later.

New York Public Library System

So I set out on a very noble adventure this summer: read books for pleasure. Everyone else does it and they're all smart, so I might as well try to fit in (though let's be clear, I stand no chance of that). Regardless, I thought I might even learn something while reading all these books about poverty, the collapse of societies, and the costs of medications. Might I even have a tasty nugget of information for my next conversation partner at those fancy manhattan cocktail parties I've never been to (nor will I probably ever attend)? The NYPL would surely give me the opportunity.

I set off to the library to procure myself a library card. Unfortunately, I am lazy, and the library is many (2) blocks away so this took a few days. When I finally got around to it, making it all the way to the library, the library gods laughed at me as it was July 4th (yes, I know and I wear a dunce hat everyday) . After the crushing disappointment, I finally got my card, rushed home and signed up for as many interesting books as I could. As I, like every other New Yorker, signed up for only NYT's Bestsellers, all the books had long hold lines (of 100's of people). Herein lies the crux of the matter:

How am I suppossed to educate myself on freaky economics when my 16 day wait for Freakonomics has moved me 229 spots up on the hold list...all the way to 725. At this rate, the economy of freaks will surely mutate rapidly before I get to day 60 (which at this rate will be when my book will be ready). That's right, two months to get a book from the trusty NYPL. No wonder most NYers are such dufuses like I am. (Not to embarass myself, but in my latest library trip, I attempted to enter via the exit turnstile and then proceded to attempt a speedy exit via the entrance turnstile. I'd have you know that the turnstiles are quite effective in only rotating in one direction.)

NYer's affection for the NYT's bestsellers non-fiction list has left me reading books that no one wants and that must mean that they suck. However, reading a crappy book is better than waiting two months for what very well could end up being a crappy book. Any book suggestions?

Testing...

So I'm not really sure if people want to read about what I am thinking or what I think is cool, but I'm giving it to you anyway. I mean, heck, if Adam can do it, I surely can. At least I can beat his attrocious posting rate--I think. And before anyone asks, I will not be posting a scary picture of myself like Adam has chosen to do (dude, you're scary enough without the picture).

I'll try to post daily on an assortment of things including my rants on everyday things, some of my personal life, and what I find to be really cool in the tech world.